So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
