my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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