I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
