Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
