Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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