i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
