Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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