So drunk its hurt
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
