So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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