my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
