Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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