Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
