Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
