You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
