your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize