She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Send help, water and tortillas.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
