I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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