I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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