If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
