you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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