Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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