how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
