Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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