he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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