Christians are straight up FREAKS
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
