You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
