so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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