Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
My ATM looks so different sober.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
