I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
