Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
