I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
