so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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