i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
