The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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