What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I stole a fireplace last night.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
soo... how was my night?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
