We won't sleep together?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
