so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
