I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize