i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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