just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
