When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
