I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
