we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
