Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
