Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize