A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
