My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Randomize
