we made out on top of his cat.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
