The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
