we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
