yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
