it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
