Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
there is glitter all over my balls
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