It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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