I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
