We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
