i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
