Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
