so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize