You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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