She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
